What Can I Do if My Ex is Alienating My Child from Me?

As a parent, one of the most painful experiences is feeling like you are losing your connection with your child, especially at the hands of an ex-spouse. If you suspect your former partner is attempting to turn your child against you, it’s crucial to understand what parental alienation is and the steps you can take to protect your relationship with your child.

What is Parental Alienation?

This is when one parent psychologically manipulates a child to reject the other parent. The alienating parent may use a variety of tactics, such as:

• Speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the child
• Limiting the child’s contact and communication with the other parent
• Telling the child false stories to make the other parent look bad
• Trying to erase the other parent from the child’s life by throwing out gifts and photos
• Interrogating the child about time spent with the other parent

Over time, these behaviors can brainwash a child to fear, hate, or reject the targeted parent. Parental alienation is considered a form of child abuse and can have long-lasting impacts on a child’s emotional well-being and their relationship with the alienated parent.

Signs Your Child is Being Alienated

It can be difficult to definitively prove parental alienation is occurring, but there are some common warning signs to watch for:

• Your child starts to withdraw from you or becomes hostile toward you, often parroting language used by your ex
• Your child has a sudden negative shift in their feelings about you that seems to come out of nowhere
• Your ex repeatedly cancels or interferes with your parenting time and communication with your child
• Your child feels they must hide their love for you or lie about enjoying time with you to avoid upsetting your ex
• Your ex shares inappropriate details about your divorce and relationship with your child, forcing them to take sides

If you notice a combination of these red flags, it is important to act quickly to intervene before further damage is done to your bond with your child.

Documenting Instances of Alienation

When it comes to parental alienation cases, documentation is key. Start keeping a detailed journal logging concerning incidents such as:

• Times your ex made disparaging comments about you in front of your child
• Examples of your child using language that sounds coached by your ex
• Visitation and communication that your ex interfered with or canceled without valid reasons
• Gifts, photos, or other items connecting your child to you that have disappeared
• Concerning statements your child has made that indicate they feel pressured to reject you

Save any text messages, emails, or voicemails that demonstrate alienating behaviors as well. An organized record of this alienation can be powerful evidence if you need to take legal action.

Maintaining Your Relationship with Your Child

As much as it may pain you, try to stay calm and avoid retaliating against your ex with alienating behaviors of your own. Focus on being a stable, loving presence in your child’s life. Take the high road in your interactions with your ex, and don’t speak badly about them when you are with your child.

Use your parenting time to create positive new memories with your child. Listen to their feelings without judgment and give them permission to love you both. Remind your child that the divorce was not their fault and that it’s okay to have fun with you. With consistency and patience, you can counteract alienation and preserve your parent-child bond.

Pursuing Legal Remedies

In severe cases, you may need to seek court intervention to stop parental alienation. Document the alienation and work with an experienced family law attorney to explore your options, such as:

• Modifying your parenting plan to include more specific language prohibiting alienation
• Requesting a court-appointed psychologist to evaluate your child for parental alienation
• Pursuing court-ordered counseling for your family
• Asking a judge to hold your ex in contempt for violating court orders related to parenting time or alienation
• Petitioning for a change in custody if the alienation is extreme

Parental alienation cases are complex and sensitive, so it’s essential to have a knowledgeable attorney guide you.

Seek Legal Help

Watching your child slip away due to the manipulations of an ex-partner is heartbreaking. However, by learning to recognize the signs of alienation, documenting the abuse, and fighting for your rights, it is possible to stop this toxic behavior. With the right legal and therapeutic assistance, you can protect your child and your invaluable role in their life. If you believe you are the victim of parental alienation, contact the Law Office of Joyce Holcomb for compassionate legal support. Call us today at (909) 587-6475.